Ogden Nash Quotes and Sayings

Here you can find the best collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous Ogden Nash quotes and Ogden Nash sayings, and Ogden Nash proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.

"Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore."

"All husbands are alike, but they have different faces so you can tell them apart."

"A husband is a guy who tells you when you’ve got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick."

"People can’t concentrate properly on blowing other people to pieces if their minds are poisoned by thoughts suitable to the twenty-fifth of December."

"Your hair may be brushed, but your mind’s untidy. You’ve had about seven hours of sleep since Friday. No wonder you feel that lost sensation. You’re sunk from a riot of relaxation."

"Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker."

"Indoors or out, no one relaxes in March, that month of wind and taxes, the wind will presently disappear, the taxes last us all the year."

"You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely"

"When grandparents enter the door, discipline flies out the window."

"Basketball, a game which won’t be fit for people until they set the basket umbilicus-high and return the giraffes to the zoo."

"To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you’re wrong admit it; Whenever you’re right shut up."

"Children aren’t happy with nothing to ignore, and that’s what parents were created for."

"Your hair may be brushed, but your mind’s untidy. You’ve had about seven hours of sleep since Friday. No wonder you feel that lost sensation. You’re sunk from a riot of relaxation._"

"Sleep is perverse as human nature, Sleep is perverse as legislature…. So people who go to bed to sleep Must count French premiers or sheep, And people who ought to arise from bed Yawn and go back to sleep instead."

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